


Kyle's Boomin' Ghost

by KPesh123



Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [32]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Alternate Universe - Horror, Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bad Writing, Beer, Best Friends, Binge Drinking, Childhood Friends, College, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Dark Comedy, Democrat, Depressing, Developing Friendships, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drinking Games, Enemies to Friends, Epic Friendship, Excessive Drinking, Feminist Themes, Friendship, Ghost Hunters, Ghost Sex, Ghostbusting (Ghostbusters), Good Writing, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy Drinking, Horror, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Late Night Writing, Major Original Character(s), Male Friendship, Marijuana, Minor Original Character(s), Misery, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Original Universe, Other, Party, Partying, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Robbery, Rough Sex, Scary, Scary Movies, Sex, Shooting Guns, Smoking, Spirit World, Spirits, Spiritual, Tequila, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Vaginal Sex, Vodka, Weapons, Whiskey & Scotch, Writing, Writing Exercise, Writing on Skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 06:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KPesh123/pseuds/KPesh123
Summary: Legend has it that there is a ghost on Kyle's college campus!!!  The only downside is that the ghost is a raging feminist who hates men.  Not taking to kindly to this, The Boys decide to find the ghost and mansplain to her...
Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867981





	Kyle's Boomin' Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the other stories of Kyle's Boomin' Adventures.

Kyle’s Boomin’ Ghost

It was a Friday night and Kyle was sitting in his dorm drinking by himself. Kyle had the room to himself, with Ballyhoo blasting on his speaker, he had a mixed drink on the other hand. In the red solo cup was a concoction he and the boys created over the summer, Blueberry Overkill. A cup filled with Blue Raspberry Svedka, Cool Blue Gatorade, and blue Jolly Ranchers was dangerous enough to make the most experienced drinkers black out. While getting black out drunk by himself, Kyle went on his computer. While searching the internet, Kyle came across a local news article. After reading the article Kyle called up the boys. 

“This place has a ghost.” Kyle said.

“What?” Nick responded. 

“My school has a fucking ghost.” Kyle repeated.

“Yo, can we go find this ghost?” Jay asked. 

“I’d be down to go ghost hunting.” Malcolm commented.

“Yeah so about that.” Kyle said. “The Ghost hates men.” 

“You serious?” Jon asked. 

“Jesus Christ of course The Ghost at your school is a feminazi cunt.” Nick said.

“Honestly that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.” Mark commented.

“You know what? Fuck it, let’s go to where this ghost lurks and just mansplain the fuck out of her.” Malcolm offered.

“That sounds fun actually.” Kyle responded. “The fact that this campus has a feminist ghost actually angers me.” 

Since Kyle’s college was founded in the early nineteenth century, many generations have been brainwashed into their left wing curriculum. As the story goes, a girl was living in the oldest building on campus. The girl was living in a single as those were the only rooms available in the building. According to the legend, a group of Daniel Geed’s slaves gang banged her in order to get payback for being enslaved. The girl disappeared after the event and started to haunt the very building she was raped in. Being a feminist, The Ghost would go around scratching men while they slept. It got to the point that the top floor where she roams was turned into an all girls floor. 

The boys drove up and met Kyle in town, they proceeded to walk to the dorm building where the ghost lives. Jay brought ghost hunting equipment in hopes to actually find the spirit they were looking for. The boys had an advantage on their side when it came to talking to ghosts. Both Nick and Chris had claimed to see and speak to ghosts, with their intellect with the dead, the boys had a shot. They entered campus and headed towards the building.

“So I’m good with spirits, I just get a huge sense of misery and depression when I walk around here.” Nick said. 

“Well obviously, on a Saturday night it’s pitch dark and cold. It’s lonely as fuck.” Kyle responded.

The boys reached the dorm hall where the ghost lived. Kyle walked up to the door and swiped his key card on the censor. A flashing red light ignited along with a buzzing noise. Kyle stepped back and looked at the boys. 

“God fucking damnit.” Kyle said in frustration. 

“What’s up now?” Gianni asked. 

“There are still Covid restrictions here. I can’t get into this building because I don’t live here.” Kyle explained.

“Fuck!!!” Malcolm yelled. 

The boys sat on the benches in front of the building and pondered their next move. Since they sunk money into this event, the boys were not willing to give up so early. Some of the boys started to speak only to stop, realizing that their plans sucked. Out of nowhere Mark got up and walked to the side of the front entrance. Ten minutes went by until a student walked out the door. Mark quickly pulled out his gun and ran up on the student.

“GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING KEY CARD!!!!!” Mark screamed. 

“What the fuck?!” The Student yelled.

“GIVE ME YOUR KEY CARD OR I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!!” Mark continued to scream.

“Fine here!!! Please don’t kill me!!!” The Student cried, giving Mark the key card. 

“Oh bet!!! Thanks man!!” Mark said in a happy tone. “Hey guys I got a key card!!!” 

The Student ran off crying, the boys looked at Mark stunned at the events which took place in front of them. After contemplating what just happened, they got up and walked into the building. The boys entered the building to find how old and decrepit it really was. Since the dorm building was so old, the halls were uncomfortably narrow, there was a stench of must that wafted through the entire building. Jay turned on his ghost tracker and the boys seeped through each hall. Nick opened the mens bathroom only to find diarrhea sprayed all over the room. The walls, ceiling, floor, showers, sinks and sides of the toilets were drenched in liquid fecal matter. The only place not covered in diarrhea was the actual inside of the toilet bowl. Nick walked in and accidently slipped on the diarrhea. Being covered in shit, Nick threw up on the ground. While Nick was trying to get up he slipped and fell face first on the ground. Gianni walked into the bathroom to find Nick lying on the ground face first.

“Gee you are really in deep shit! Ahaha!!!” Gianni laughed before walking out.

Nick regained his composure and rejoined the boys. After walking through the first three floors finding no trace of afterlife, the boys ventured up to the attic. The boys made it up the stairs to find a dark empty room. Jay’s ghost tracker immediately went off once they entered the room. Jay wandered the room trying to find where the noise came in the loudest, the boys sat and observed. The noise from the machine was loudest in the center of the room. Once the boys made it to the middle, Chris and Nick started to communicate.

“If there is a ghost in the room, please make yourself visible for us.” Chris said. 

At that moment footsteps were heard coming from the other end of the room. The boys turned on their flashlights and immediately turned the other direction. A shadowy figure slowly walked towards the boys. 

“Holy shit it’s The Ghost!!” Jay yelled. 

“Guys I’m so scared!!! I just pissed my pants!!” Malcolm cried. 

“Wait a minute, that isn’t the ghost.” Kyle said. 

“What makes you say that?” Nick asked.

“Hi boomer!” Nancy Drew chimed excitedly. 

“GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!” Mark yelled.

“Every fucking time!!” Nick added.

“Will you fuck off?! We’re ghost hunting.” Kyle yelled.

“Kyle, do you like my skirt? It has pockets!!” Nancy gleefully responded.

“Shoo!!” Kyle yelled, taking a rolled magazine and tapping her on the head with it.

Nancy accepted the beating on the head, tilting her head down while looking up at Kyle with sad puppy eyes. Once Kyle was done Nancy walked away sad. Once she left the boys got back on track with what they were doing. Jay looked down at his ghost tracker to find that the machine was beeping loudly along with flashing a red light repeatedly. 

“Holy shit the ghost is right here!!!” Jay yelled.

“Hey here’s a light switch.” Jon said turning it on. “Holy shit you guys are scratched up.” 

“Uh Jon?” Mark asked.

“Yes?” 

“You should look at your reflection on your phone.” 

“Okay?” Jon responded confused. “Wait, what the fuck?!” 

“Yep.” 

“There is a pentagram scratched on my forehead?!” Jon asked frantically. 

“Yep.” 

“I’ll be at the car, fuck this.” Jon said storming off.

As it turned out, while the lights were off and Nancy was distracting the boys, The Ghost scratched the boys, deciding to etch a pentagram into Jon’s head. With that the boys continued their search.

“Attention ghost, please show yourself.” Nick said. 

“Um excuse me, but what the fuck are you men doing in my room?!” A voice shouted.

The boys turned frantically trying to find the source of the voice. Low and behold in front of them was a figure that had not been seen as of yet by the boys. The boys looked in horror at the figure in front of them.

“OH MY GOODNESS!!!” Kyle shouted.

Malcolm squealed and pissed his pants again, Mark drew his gun. The figure in front of them was none other than the infamous feminist ghost the boys had been looking for all day. The Ghost was fat and had piercings all over her face. The Ghost had short dyed purple hair and a Biden/Harris shirt on that was incredibly too small, showing her immense stomach. Along with big glasses and an enormous mole on her face, the boys were shocked.

“What the fuck are you pigs doing in my room?!” The Ghost shouted. 

“We’re here to mansplain and show our toxic masculinity to your fat liberal ass.” Kyle responded.

“Fuck!!! I fucking hate men!!!” The Ghost shouted.

“Bitch shut the fuck up, you’re in the presence of men.” Mark snapped.

“Yeah, make me a sandwich you whore!” Malcolm yelled.

“Oh that’s it!!!” The Ghost shouted.

The Ghost flew over and Malcolm started to run in fear. The Ghost surrounded Malcolm and started thrusting. As per usual with any adventure the boys went on, Malcolm got raped, this time by a feminist ghost. 

“Guys!!! Help me!! The whore is raping me!! She’s raping me!!!” Malcolm cried.

With no equipment available to properly trap The Ghost, Kyle grabbed a vacuum cleaner and turned it on. The Ghost was immediately sucked into the vacuum. Kyle took the vacuum and chucked it out the window, clocking a random student in the head. 

“Jesus how’s your asshole not been numb to shit being shoved up there by now?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, you’re getting raped every week.” Gianni added.

“Guys, shut the fuck up.” Malcolm responded.

“I did not expect that ghost to look so hideous.” Kyle commented.

“I know right!!!” Jay responded.

Having saved the campus from a raging feminist ghost, the boys hot boxed the attic with weed in celebration. The boys held an exclusive party for all their friends in that room while the geeds were excluded and forced to sit outside. The boys had successfully found a ghost and properly removed it from the premises.

  
  


I hope you enjoyed my Boomin’ Ghost, this is true, my college has a feminist ghost. How pathetic... 

  
  



End file.
